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JCarson Vote

July 11, 2007

Technology Tests Repeatedly Report that Computerized Voting Systems Are Fatally Flawed.

Over a period of a few years, various voter rights activists would get inspired to draft a parody related to election integrity. I collected them (since I’m fond of drafting parodies), and we’ve sung them at rallies and parades.

Original songs adapted by: Suzanne Erb, Mark E. Smith, Adele Eisner, Jim March, Jonathan Simon, Judy Hess, Peggy Herr, Marj Creech, Dave Berman and yours truly. Accept as is, or amend and append, but do sing in public.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Ballot in da Vote Machine 
By Mark Smith 2006 (Coconut by Harry Nilsson)

Hand Count Paper Votes                     
By Rady Ananda, 2006 (Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison)

House of the Setting Sun                        
By Adele Eisner 2006 (House of the Rising Sun by The Animals)

There’s a Kind of Hush                             
By Rady Ananda, Jan 2007 (by Les Reed and Geoff Stephens)

Don’t Diebold That Vote                      
By Rady Ananda 2006 (Don’t Bogart Me by The Fraternity of Man)

Mine Eyes                                         
By Jim March 2006 (Battle Hymn of the Republic by Julia Ward Howe)

Let’s Help America        
By Jonathan Simon, 2004 (God Bless America by Irving Berlin)

California Dreaming                         
By Rady Ananda & Judy Hess 2006 (by The Mamas & the Papas)

My Country Used To Be                 
By Peggy Herr, 2007 (America by S.F. Smith)

Santeria Ballots        
By Rady Ananda 2007 (Santeria by Sublime)

Where Have All the Ballots Gone?  
By Suzanne Erb, 2007 (Where Have All the Flowers Gone by Pete Seeger)

HCPB Chants    
By Rady Ananda 2007

Seize the Polls        
By Mark E. Smith & Rady Ananda, 2007 (Pirate Radio Song by David Rovics)

The 12 Hours of Voting 
By Marj Creech, Rady Ananda & Dave Berman (12 Days of Christmas)

Have Yourself a Merry Little Vote Count
By Rady Ananda

~~~~~~~~~

Ballot in da Vote Machine
Parody by Mark Smith 2006 (Coconut by Harry Nilsson)

Beaver Vote

Put da ballot in da vote machine, it ate it all up
Put da ballot in da vote machine, it ate it all up
Put da ballot in da vote machine, such a silly voter
Put da ballot in da vote machine, called da lawyer, woke him up!

Said, lawyer, “Ain’t there nothing we can do?”
Said, lawyer, “Ain’t there no one we can sue?”
Said, lawyer, “Ain’t there nothing we can do?”
Said, lawyer, “Ain’t there no one we can sue?”

He said, “Let me get this straight —

You put da ballot in da vote machine, it ate it all up
You put da ballot in da vote machine, put ’em both together
Put da ballot in da vote machine, it ate it all up
Put da ballot in da vote machine, such a silly voter —

If you call me in the morning, I’ll tell you what to do
If you call me in the morning, I’ll tell you what to do
You put da ballot in da vote machine it ate it all up,
Put da ballot in da vote machine, such a silly voter

Put da liars in da pokey, it’ll make ya feel beddah
Put da liars in da pokey, and add da votes up
Put da liars in da pokey, it’ll make us fee beddah
Put da liars I day pokey, make ‘m fess up.
 
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Hand Count Paper Votes
By Rady Ananda, 2006 (“Brown Eyed Girl” by Van Morrison)

“Hey where do we go?” said the voter at the poll.
Looking at the Hi-tech scene, wond’ring if this was a dream.
Standin’ and a clappin’ hey hey, must make things really great.
Hey where’s my paper vote?

Do you remember when we used to say, sha na na na na na na…
Democracy

Sha na na na …. This land is free.

No matter what law’s passed
You and I know the past.
You can’t spy on me
In a land of liberty
You gotta protect the earth
She’s the only thing of worth

Where’s my paper vote
Let’s count paper votes

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House of the Setting Sun
By Adele Eisner 2006 (“The House of the Rising Sun” by The Animals)

Cheney VoteThere is a house in Washington DC
They call the legis-la-ture
It’s been the ruin of democracy,
And elections to be sure.

First pay to play took over
Then HAVA passed in 01
Now we’ve got sea to sea voting machines
That make the winners deals that’re done

And Ohio’s got Ken Blackwell
Running the state election show
He suppresses, depresses, but never confesses
That he fixed Bush’s win, now his own.

There is a house in Washington DC
That stood for life `n liberty
But now it’s shell of corruption and greed
Where you can only have a voice for a fee.

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There’s a Kind of Hush
Rady Ananda 2007 (Original song by Les Reed and Geoff Stephens)

1.   There’s a kind of hush – all over the world, tonight
All over the world machines have won the day
I’m kind of blown away.

2.   A secret vote – is all they will give – no joke.
Inside a box – away from prying eyes –
Is where democracy dies.

Remember what we learned so far
Hand counts are the lowest bar
Of democracy – Fair vote counts, I mean.
When experts seize the vote from us,
Then experts rule and we must trust
Reported results.  It’s such an insult.

3.   Since ’86, parallel votes are done
We poll the folks – it’s simple and fun
Then tell the world who won.

4.   Not only this, observing the whole – process
And videoing, it’s a lovely scene.
It’s how we live our dream.

When you accept their wizardry
You then cede your authority
To their agenda; their propaganda.
If cost and science fail to sway,
What makes you think we’ll win the day
Inside their machine, with some audit scheme?

einstein_hcpb5.   Now they wanna discuss clean money laws with us,
And which audit schemes for these vote machines,
Ignore HCPBs.

But listen very carefully.  Opti-scams and DREs
Are no substitute – to hand counts; it’s true.

Opti-scams use software, too. Audits then are simply used
To hoodwink us all, so we’ll drop the ball.

6.   It’s been a nice few years, dissenting with you – big cheers.
Dissenting out loud, we are strong and proud
What a joyous sound.

So contemplate from where you are
Tell me now, where is the star?
I’m totally lost – elections are frauds.

Where do we put our talents now,
When corporations won’t allow
Hand counting the votes – as if we are dopes.

7.   There’s a kind of hush – Time to sit back, and think.
Time to lay low, recover from our blow.
Think where we need to go.

The profit-crazed hierarchy
Crushes life and Earth’s beauty
Their “civilized” scheme – is making us scream.

All of life – near the crust
Every species feels the thrust
Of corporate greed – we’ll all go extinct.

8.   Everyone’s marching, in step
All over the world, you bet
All over the world, machines have won the day.
I’m kinda blown away.

I’ll join you in the good homeland,
Where life can reign and freedom stand.
We’ll live very simply – eco-harmony

Tell me now where we belong,
This mass of folks who sing the song
For self-ruling tribes, who won’t privatize.

9.  There’s a kind of hush, all over the world, tonite.
All over the world and I’m feeling fine
Some didn’t step in line.

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Don’t Diebold That Vote
Parody by Rady Ananda 2006 (Don’t Bogart Me” by The Fraternity of Man)

smoking-potDon’t Diebold that vote, my friend
Show me transparency
Don’t Diebold that vote, my friend
We want democracy

Lay out the paper
We can’t count vapor
Freedom’s burnt to the end
Come on and be a friend.

Don’t Diebold that vote, my friend
Show me transparency
Don’t Diebold that vote, my friend
We want democracy

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Mine Eyes
Parody by Jim March 2006 (Battle Hymn of the Republic by Julia Ward Howe)

Mine eyes have seen the horror of the mangling of the vote,
These secret tabulators have us in a sinking boat,
A mix of geeks and activists try keeping us afloat,
But the HAVA bucks roll in!

Vote by touchscreen and we’ll screw ya!
We’ve gone and rigged all the compyewtahs!

I have seen some bad code and then sometimes I see worse,
Crooked federal lobbyists who wield a mighty purse,
Machines that jam the paper until honest voters curse,
The whole system is a sin!

Vote by touchscreen and we’ll screw ya!
We’ve gone and rigged all the compyewtahs!

There are voting systems out there built by criminals and thieves,
They sell trash to gleeful registrars and nobody believes,
Every programmer who ponders gets a sudden case of heaves,
Toss it all in a trash bin!

Vote by touchscreen and we’ll screw ya!
We’ve gone and rigged all the compyewtahs!

We’re gonna take these junk machines and toss ’em in a pile,
With a tanker load of gasoline and light it with a smile,
It’s that or watch democracy come to its final mile,
Hell no, we’ll fight and win!

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Let’s Help America
by Jonathan Simon, 2004 (“God Bless America” by Irving Berlin)

Let’s help America show her true worth!
For she is great, but of late
She’s becoming the scourge of the Earth. 

She’s been blinded; she’s been lied to;
She’s been poisoned from within.

Let’s help America
To see again. . .

We’ll all help America
Be free again!

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California Dreaming
Parody by Rady Ananda and Judy Hess, 2006  (California Dreaming by The Mamas & the Papas)

MonaLisa HCPBAll the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray…
I tried to cast my vote on Election Day
They showed me their computer, asked me for ID
California dreaming… when this land was free

I walked into the Church, and what did I see
Lines and lines of voters, waiting patiently
There were only ‘puters – Opti-Scam or DRE
California dreaming … is this democracy?

Give me paper ballots, count so all can see
I can’t count electrons inside your wizardry
Occam’s razor tells us, use no technology

California dreaming … taking back our liberty
California dreaming … counting honestly

Back to Table of Contents

My Country Used To Be
By Peg Herr, 2007 (America by Samuel Francis Smith)

Rosie HCPB 138kStrange software counts our votes, it turns them into toast
And then within the software’s host – the loser wins!

My country used to be a great democracy, or so they say
Now mixed-up mem’ry cards and glitches free of guards
Shred freedom into lonely shards, and the people pay.

My country used to be a great democracy; now let us see:
Some ballots disappear, still others reappear
Now wait and tell me what you hear:
It’s the count—times three!

My country used to be a great democracy
Those days are gone.

Corruption rules the day– they’ve learned to pay-to-play
No ethics seem to pave the way on the road we’re on.

My country used to be a great democracy
That’s all, she wrote.

Now we have shaky tales of dubious paper trails
My heart with anguish ails. Where went my vote?

My country used to be a great democracy
Those were the days
I want the count to be out where we all can see
No vapor ballots haunting me; no secret ways.

My country used to be a great democracy.
But now take heed.                                                             

This system’s got my goat, No audits check the vote          
No touch-screen tricks should steal my vote

I do not concede.

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Santeria Ballots
Parody by Rady Ananda, (Santeria by Sublime)

Whats Lurking HCPB

I don’t trust in their statistics; I ain’t got no crystal ball
If I had a million dollars, well, I’d – I’d spend it all
To hand count paper ballots, toss those vote machines away
Pay my neighbors to guard the ballot box all day

What I really wanna know: the vote count
What I really wanna see: the paper count
Well it’s all that we need, but
Our vote will have to

Wait till we get back to a real democracy
Technocrats have taken control
I feel the break, feel the chains, feel the pain
Of slavery, oh yeah, well, I swear what I

What I really wanna know: the vote count
What I really wanna see: the real vote count
Let’s fight; make them go…
So our vote will really count.    

We don’t need your vote machines, or experts
We can’t pay your stunning fees, not one more dime
And we’ll do it, yes, we’ll count the vote
Tell vendors that if

They know what is good for them,
They best sell off their shares
Voters got a new kind of ware:
We’ll hand count paper ballots
Then tell Govs who really won
Believe me when I say that elections belong to VOTERS

What we really wanna have: our country
What we really wanna see: democracy
And we’ll get it, yes, we’ll take it back
Democracy won’t wait.

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Where Have All the Ballots Gone?
Bates voteParody by Suzanne Erb, a blind woman who believes “If you can’t see your vote, then you’re all voting blind” 2007

(“Where Have All the Flowers Gone” by Pete Seeger)

Where have all the ballots gone, long time passing?
Where have all the ballots gone, long time ago?
Where have all the ballots gone?
Gone to levers everyone.

REFRAIN:
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the levers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the levers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the levers gone?
Gone to punch-cards, everyone.

[REFRAIN]

Where have all the punch-cards gone, long time passing?
Where have all the punch-cards gone, long time ago?
Where have all the punch-cards gone?
Software counts them, every one.

[REFRAIN]

Where has all the software gone, long time passing?
Where has all the software gone, long time ago?
Where has all the software gone?
Gone to hackers, everyone.

[REFRAIN]

Where have all the hackers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the hackers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the hackers gone?
Gone to bosses, everyone.

[REFRAIN]

Where have all the bosses gone, long time passing?
Where have all the bosses gone, long time ago?
Where have all the bosses gone?
Gone to rulers, everyone.

[REFRAIN]

Where have all the rulers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the rulers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the rulers gone?
Gone to tyrants, everyone.

[REFRAIN]

Where have all the tyrants gone, long time passing?
Where have all the tyrants gone, long time ago?
Where have all the tyrants gone?
Revolution, everyone.

[REFRAIN]

Where have revolutions gone, long time passing?
Where have revolutions gone, long time ago?
Where have revolutions gone?
Gone to ballots, everyone. 

[REFRAIN]

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HCPB Chants
By Rady Ananda 2007.  Call and answer.                      

Get it right on election night (hand count paper ballots)
The simple truth in plain sight (hand count paper ballots)

Democracy won’t compromise
(Keep your eyes on the prize)
Recounts rarely yield the truth
(Citizens count – there’s the proof)

Cheapest, safest, most accurate
(Who would dare to object to it?)
Machines and democracy just don’t fit
(Keep corporations out of it)

Get it right on election night (hand count paper ballots)
The simple truth in plain sight (hand count paper ballots)

High-paid experts we don’t need
(Why waste money on PhDs?)
One-tenth the cost of high-tech schemes
(Paper ballots are so damn cheap)

No more waiting in long lines
(Pen and paper end that crime)
All adults will be franchised
(we’re all born equal in God’s eyes)

Get it right on election night (hand count paper ballots)
The simple truth in plain sight (hand count paper ballots)
 
No more toxic technology
(Earth-friendly paper – no machines)
Citizens count for all to see
(Transparency – that’s for me)

Secret votes and open counts
(These machines we must surmount)
That’s the way to democracy
(And how we live in liberty)

Get it right on election night (hand count paper ballots)
The simple truth in plain sight (hand count paper ballots)

Back to Table of Contents

Seize the Polls
Parody by Mark E. Smith and Rady Ananda, Nov. 2007
(Pirate Radio Song by David Rovics at http://www.diymedia.net/audio/mp3drovics.htm  
(with much apology to David Rovics)

Uncle SamThis is how it started; it’s not hard to understand
From coast to coast they’re lying at a CEO’s command
From vendors to officials, all across the whole country,
They’re spewing fake results from their high-tech wizardry.

Signature counts in Franklin, missing votes in Florida
Rigging recounts on the lake – the Courts just let them off
San Diego learned the hard way that Congress picks the winners
And New York is in a battle to stop these Big Gov sinners

Chorus:

Seize the precincts; Seize the polls
Counting votes in secret will never reach our goals

When it’s all owned by corporations,
And theirs is the only word
We will seize the precincts
Count ballots and be heard

Someone got pens and paper, a popular defection
Then the idea spread – We’ll have our own election
Like the land and water, elections must be free
So let us shout together, “Fuck the EAC”

(Chorus)

And we’ll do it all together, in a grassroots style
We’ll hand count the votes, all on election night
It’s the new Town Meeting. It’s the way things ought to be.
The rulers call it chaos.  We say it’s democracy

So it comes election time and you’ve had it with this shit
Republicrats and Democans make you want to have a fit
They’re all a bunch of liars and it’s all the same old game
Let’s have our own elections.  Ignite our freedom’s flame

(Chorus)

Back to Table of Contents

HOLIDAY PARODIES

The 12 Hours of Voting
Parody by Marj Creech, Rady Ananda and Dave Berman 2005. (The 12 Days of Christmas)
http://www.afterdowningstreet.org/?q=node/530

holly-berryIn the 1st hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “DRE or OptiScan machine?”
 
In the 2nd hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “Two stolen elections. DRE or OptiScan machine?”

In the 3rd hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “Invalid recounts; two stolen elections. DRE or OptiScan machine?”

In the 4th hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “40 tampered smart cards, invalid recounts; two stolen elections. DRE or OptiScan machine?”

In the 5th hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “I WANT THE GOV’NOR’S SEAT…
40 tampered smart cards, invalid recounts; two stolen elections. DRE or OptiScan machine?”

In the 6th hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “Democracy’s a-dying.
I WANT THE GOV’NOR’S SEAT…
40 tampered smart cards,
invalid recounts;
two stolen elections.
DRE or OptiScan machine?”

In the 7th hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “Proprietary software,
so Democracy’s a-dying.
I WANT THE GOV’NOR’S SEAT…
40 tampered smart cards,
invalid recounts;
two stolen elections.
DRE or OptiScan machine?”

In the 8th hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “88 closed pollbooks,
proprietary software,
so Democracy’s a-dying.
I WANT THE GOV’NOR’S SEAT…
40 tampered smart cards,
invalid recounts;
two stolen elections.
DRE or OptiScan machine?”

In the 9th hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “93,000 votes tossed,
88 closed pollbooks,
proprietary software,
so Democracy’s a-dying.
I WANT THE GOV’NOR’S SEAT…
40 tampered smart cards,
invalid recounts;
two stolen elections.

DRE or OptiScan machine?
In the 10th hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “Damn those whistleblowers!
93,000 votes tossed,
88 closed pollbooks,
proprietary software,
so Democracy’s a-dying.
I WANT THE GOV’NOR’S SEAT…
40 tampered smart cards,
invalid recounts;
two stolen elections.
DRE or OptiScan machine?”

In the 11th hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “11 hidden back doors,
damn those whistleblowers!
93,000 votes tossed,
88 closed pollbooks,
proprietary software,
so Democracy’s a-dying.
I WANT THE GOV’NOR’S SEAT…
40 tampered smart cards,
invalid recounts;
two stolen elections.
DRE or OptiScan machine?”

In the 12th hour of voting, Blackwell said to me, “12 ID pieces,
11 hidden back doors,
damn those whistleblowers!
93,000 votes tossed,
88 closed pollbooks,
proprietary software,
so Democracy’s a-dying.
I WANT THE GOV’NOR’S SEAT…
40 tampered smart cards,
invalid recounts;
two stolen elections.
DRE or OptiScan machine?

Back to Table of Contents

Have Yourself a Merry Little Vote Count
By Rady Ananda (original by Hugh Martin)

Have yourself a merry little vote count
On black box wizardry
Hide the count so voters never see.

Have yourself a merry little vote count.
No matter what you say,
Only fools would trust the govs with fair play

Here we are as in olden days
Tyrants rule the day once more
Absentees and vote by mail
Corrupt the public will, for sure.

Democracy is once again illusion
A far off fantasy
Until We the People control our sovereignty
You will have yourself these faux “election seasons” now.

9-11 1st hit

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